So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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