I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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