Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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