she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
