Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i jhust puked up my retainher.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
