It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
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Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
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Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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