I'm going to jail i love you
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
