remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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