two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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