meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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