yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
