I think I died a long time ago.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
