Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??