Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.