Are we in a gay sports bar?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
