So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.