So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
grandma shit on top of the toilet
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house