Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
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Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
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We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten