honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
