remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Randomize
