And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
