if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize