so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
