ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
