She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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