Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
