Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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