So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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