sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
