I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
high people should be assigned attendants
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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