just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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