I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize