You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so much tequila, so little girl.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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