New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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