Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
