I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
