3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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