God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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