She just used a chaser for red wine.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
how drunk are you?
Several
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
