just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
