i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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