So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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