Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
