She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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