fuck your aforementioned shoe
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I am mentally ready for anal.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
