just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
