Don't you send me to vm
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
