Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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