So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
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don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
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I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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