she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
