I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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