i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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