im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
