Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
