Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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