he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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