i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
