So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
