we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize