Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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