Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
