Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I need to calm my uterus...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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